She moves slowly Takes her time to really enter a space. She is not careless, but her vibe is CANNOT-BE-BOTHERED. A soft gaze reserved for her lovers. A stern gaze for all others. Her love is not unconditional She makes no apologies Fueled by 2 parts love, 1 part rage Her hair holds history her hips hold mystery She is not to be possessed. She is not your mule. She is not your mule. She is not your mule. She will not be your salvation she will not be your rehabilitation She will not be your expectation She is not yours. Her body is hers to own Her intellect is hers to enjoy She belongs to herself Enjoy her while you can She will not always be here.
Story behind the poem:
I’ve been trying to capture what sensuality means for me into words for the better part of a year. It feels like an ethereal quality, a presence that can sometimes be confused for barely there-ness…but the reality is you are observing and taking things in. Noticing everything. Sensuality to me feels like enjoying myself. Like self ownership. Like indulgence in love, pleasure, passion and intellect.
Writing “sensual woman” was a reminder to those who try to possess her that she was never theirs to possess – only to be enjoyed.
I struggled with writing this poem a bit because these days my sensuality shows up as more loud than muted. I’ve been allowing myself to be seen more. More cleavage. More words. More real time access into my thoughts, and yet I wanted to writed to write about a more muted sensuality. The core parts of what sensuality mean to me. So I tapped into my ancestral wisdom. Specifically to my maternal grandmother Affiong. The firs few lines pay homage to her. A sensual woman who never really was showy or the loudest voice in the room.
“she moves slowly
takes her time to really enter a space”
Anyone who knew my grandma knew this to be true about her.
After I embodied her, it became easier to talk about myself. I became conscious of the ways I move through the world embodying my own sensuality, her sensuality, and my mothers sensuality. Three generations of women. Who show up in the world in completely different ways but have the same thread of sensuality flowing through them.
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